Dating And Courting… What's The Difference?

Christian dating and Christian courting are often thought of as one and the same. However, dating is a more casual relationship that is done for the fun of companionship while Christian courting is the serious and active pursuit of a serious relationship with the ultimate goal of marriage.

So how do Christian singles decide whether they want to participate in Christian dating or Christian courting and how do they know the difference?

When Christian singles begin to date it is assumed that the relationship is to be casual and fun. There is no pressure to become serious or discuss serious issues. To do so would be to talk about commitment and those involved in Christian dating relationships are generally opposed to discussions of commitment.

Couples involved in Christian dating relationships usually spend a lot of time alone with each other. This opens the door for temptation.

Most dating relationships, including Christian dating relationships, usually involve a high level of physical intimacy. Holding hands, deep kissing and even some pre-sexual acts are often part of the Christian dating relationship. These acts satisfy the desire for intimacy and can preclude getting to know someone on a deep and spiritual level. The need for physical intimacy becomes the ultimate goal of the relationship, not the desire for the closeness of marriage.

As opposed to Christian dating, Christian courting begins as a quest to get to know each other well enough to know whether or not they are compatible enough to consider marriage. Quite often it begins as friendship and progresses slowly as couples get to know more and more about each other.

Emotional intimacy is stressed in a Christian courtship rather than physical intimacy of a Christian dating relationship. Rather than spending their time alone, a couple spends time together in the company of others.

The other people could be a group of friends, another Christian couple or even one of the individuals' families. It does not matter who the couple spends time with, it only matters that the couple does not spend too much time alone with each other.
By spending time with other people, the couple keeps the temptation to get involved in a physical relationship at bay. Unlike Christian dating, Christian courting should allow the couple to enjoy each other's company without the pressure to 'take things to another level.

Without the pressures of a physical relationship, a couple can explore the important issues related to marriage. These issues include such important factors as relationships with Christ, life goals. Also important is the issue of children, not just whether or not to have them but also how they will be raised. Factors such as education and discipline style should be addressed at this time to avoid conflict in the future.

Additionally a couple should discuss such important issues as denomination preferences and family traditions. Getting these issues settled before marriage can stave off many disagreements in the future.
While the Bible does not specifically address Christian dating or Christian courting, Christian courting comes closer to the Biblical pattern of finding a spouse. Courting allows the Christian singles to get to know one another in a safe and moral setting. It eliminates the pressure that physical intimacy can place on a relationship and helps keep emotion from clouding their judgment.

Christian singles should carefully examine the differences between Christian dating and Christian courting. If they are currently not interested in marriage, perhaps they should avoid all relationships other than friendships with members of the opposite sex. And if they are serious about marriage, they should give Christian courting a try.

Is It OK To Date Someone Of A Different Race? (Providing That They're Christian Of Course)

With satellite feeds and instant communication from around the globe, Christian singles today are meeting and getting to know people from a large variety of cultures and races. As a result, they are thinking about dating and many want to know what the Bible says about inter-racial Christian dating.

The Bible does not speak directly to the question of inter-racial Christian dating. Many people try to interpret 2 Corinthians 6:14 to speak against inter-racial Christian dating when it speaks of not being 'unequally yoked'. This is not really true because this verse is addressing Christians versus non Christians. It is not speaking about marriage among different races. And the Bible does talk about Seth, the son of Adam, going to a far country to find a wife.

While the Bible is silent of the subject of inter-racial Christian dating, society certainly is not. Therefore a couple must take several things into consideration before deciding to begin an inter-racial Christian dating relationship.

Christian singles must consider the fact that although they may be comfortable with their inter-racial Christian dating relationship, the people around them may be uncomfortable. There are still places in the world where a couple could be in danger from radicals that view this as a major taboo.

Another thing to consider is that during a dating relationship, things seem rosy and perfect. This makes a couple feel like they can overcome any differences in their cultures. What they haven't considered is that those differences may seem a lot larger when they move from an inter-racial Christian dating relationship to an inter-racial Christian marriage
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Before the dating relationship moved too far ahead, each partner should spend a lot of time with the other's family. This will help them see differences in cultures that could lead to possible problems in the future. Problems like holiday traditions and problem solving techniques can be very different from culture to culture.

One particular area to pay attention to during an inter-racial Christian dating relationship is gender roles in the different cultures. If a woman is from a family of strong women, she might not be willing to defer to her husband in public 100% of the time as is required in some cultures. Also, in some cultures, the husband is waited on in the home whether the wife also holds another job. This could potentially cause a problem for the woman after a long day at work.

A very touchy area that must be discussed when talking about inter-racial Christian dating is the children that could come from an inter-racial Christian marriage. A couple must discuss how the children would be raised. Decisions should made early on about their education and what church will be attended since many schools and churches are predominantly one culture or the other.

Inter-racial parents must also face the questions that come in grade school when the children begin to notice that their parents are not the same, not only as other parents, but as each other. How is the child to define his or her own race? These tough questions must be addressed.

If Christian singles truly feel that God has led them into an inter-racial Christian dating relationship, they should prepare themselves emotionally and spiritually to withstand all of the pressure that the world will place on them.

Since the Bible does not teach against inter-racial Christian dating relationships there is no reason to avoid Christian singles from other cultures when looking for a mate. Just make sure you prepare yourself for the possible pitfalls that can come from dating and marrying someone from another culture.